No nursing home for me. I’ll be checking into a MARRIOTT!
With the average cost for nursing home care being $275.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble. I’ve already checked on reservations at the FAIRFIELD. For a combined long-term-stay discount and senior discount, it’s $79.00 per night. Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves $196.00 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. $10 worth of tips a day, you’ll have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There’s a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you’re at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Marriott will take your reservation today. And you’re not stuck in one place forever — you can move from Marriott to Marriott, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have COURTYARD there too. TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Marriott has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they’ll call an ambulance or the undertaker. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Marriott will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini vacation. The grandkids can use the pool. What more could I ask for?
So, when I reach that golden age, I’ll face it with a grin.
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION’S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!
MOST OF ALL, MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV (Hair Is Vanishing)
I’m only sending this to my ‘old’ friends. I love to see you smile.