O x y m o r o n s

• Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
• Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
• If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
• If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
• Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
• Why does “slow down” and slow up” mean the same thing?
• Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
• Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
• Why do we sing “Take me out to the ballgame” when we are already there?
• Why are they called ” stands” when they are made for sitting?
• Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
• Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected”make the unexpected expected?
• Why are a “wise man” and” wise guy” opposites?
• Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
• Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
• If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
• If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
• If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
• Why is bra singular and panties plural?
• Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
• Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
• Christmas- What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
• Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?