Question:        How many days in a week? 
Answer:         6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday 

Question:        When is a retiree’s bedtime? 
Answer:         Two hours after falling asleep on the couch. 

Question:        How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? 
Answer:    Only one, but it might take all day. 

Question:        What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? 
Answer:         There is not enough time to get everything done. 

Question:        Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer:         The term comes with a 10% discount. 

Question:        Among retirees, what is considered formal attire? 
Answer:         Tied shoes. 

Question:        Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer:         They are the only ones who have the time. 

Question:        What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:         NUTS! 

Question:        Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Answer:         They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there. 

Question:        What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:         Normal.

Question:        What is the best way to describe retirement? 
Answer:         The never-ending Coffee Break. 

Question:        What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree? 
Answer:         If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. 

Question:        Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work but misses the people he used to work with? 
Answer:         He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And my very favorite…. 

Question:         What do you do all week? 
Answer:         Monday through Friday, NOTHING.  Saturday & Sunday, I rest.