Day Brightener – Puns For The Day

  • John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.
  • The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
  • I saw an ad for burial plots and thought to myself that’s the last thing I need.
  • Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.
  • Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
  • A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reasons Fn, details are sketchy.
  • People are making end of the world jokes like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Whatever you do, always give 100% unless you’re donating blood.
  • What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin’ Catholic.
  • What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come.
  • A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
  • I’ve always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I’m slowly getting over it.
  • What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
  • I’ve finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I’m dealing with the emotional baggage.
  • If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?
  • My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
  • Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
  • There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

 

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