We hang petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop, Greek slave & fable author
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev, Soviet Union politician
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.
Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defense’ by Irving Stone.
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
John Quinton, American actor/writer
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”
I offered my opponents a deal: “if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them”.
Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games
I am reminded of a joke: What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That is pollution. What happens if all of them drown? That is solution!!! I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two are lawyers and three or more are the government.
John Adams (1735 – 1826)
Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Government. But then I repeat myself.
Mark Twain (1835- 1910)
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the Government and report the facts!
Will Rogers (1879- 1935)
I contend that for a nation to try and tax itself into prosperity, is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965)
A Government which robs Peter to pay Paul, can always depend on the support of Paul!
Will Rogers (1879- 1935)
The problem we face today is because the people that work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.
George Bernard Shaw (1856- 1950)
I don’t like political jokes, but a lot of them get elected!