Day Brightener – The Game Of Golf Defined In Golfisms

  1. These greens are so fast that all I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ PGA Hall of Famer Sam Snead
  2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
  3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Sports Writer Jim Murray*
  4. The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
  5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them. ~ Actor Kevin Costner
  6. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. ~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
  7. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ PGA Golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez
  8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Tom Weiskopf
  9. Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Football QB Dan Marino
  10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson
  11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
  12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
  13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
  14. The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. ~ H. G. Wells
  15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham
  16. If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. ~ Bob Hope
  17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap. ~ Henny Youngman
  18. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
  19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husband’s work. ~ Lee Trevino
  20. I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. ~ Lee Trevino


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