A passenger in a taxi reached forward and gently tapped the driver on the shoulder.

The driver screamed, nearly veered into the ditch and came to a stop just short of a building.

The shaking driver said are you OK? I am so sorry, you scared the daylights out of me.

The badly shaken passenger said “I’m sorry, I did not realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone that much.

The driver said “No No it is me that is sorry. It is entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab, I spent 25 years driving a hearse.

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that; 1) You have to be single and 2) You must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”

“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”