Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Yaw know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation.  Only this year I’m gonna do it different.

The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again.Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn’t get pregnant again.”

Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?”

“I’m takin’ Earlene with me.”

One Tough Hombre

Three cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie. With the pride for which these men were famous; it was a night of bravado, a night of tall tales…

Tom, the hand from Wyoming says, “I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral. It had gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands and castrated that sucker with my teeth.”

Ben, from Idaho, couldn’t stand to be bested. “That’s nothing, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot diamondback rattlerslid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that bastard with my bare hands, bit off its head, and sucked the poison down in one gulp and didn’t even get a belly ache.”

Old Jack, the cowboy from North Dakota, remained silent, slowly stirring the campfire coals with his pecker.