- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila…… Floor.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self- help section?” she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station toilets? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them?
- If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers
- If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
- Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.
- Does the little mermaid wear an algebra?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- How is it possible to have a civil war?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
- If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have ‘s’ in it?
- Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
- If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
- Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god?
- Why do shops have signs, ‘guide dogs only’, the dogs can’t read and their owners are blind?
Loren Berg's Blog 