Over the urial in a Golf Course Men’s Room

Beauty is only a light switch away – Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. – Armand’s Pizza, Washington, DC

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. – The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LA

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. – Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar & Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry – Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tee, Tucson, AZ

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere – Written in the dust on the back of a bus Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war hell, do both GET MARRIED! – Women’s restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. – Revolution Books New York, NY

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! – Men’s restroom House of Representatives Washington, DC

Express Lane: Five beers or less – Sign over one of the urinals Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ

You’re too good for him – Sign over the mirror in Women’s restroom Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA

No wonder you always go home alone. – Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills, CA

And perhaps the most realistic one

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it. Women’s restroom Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX