Things are getting complicated in the gender field these days. Here’s a handy guide.  Hope it helps clarify things for you.

You may not know this, but many non-living things have a gender.

1)  Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2)  Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.  It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3)  A Tire is Male because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

4)  A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

5)  Sponges are Female because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

6)  A Web Page is Female because it’s always getting hit on.

7)  A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9)  A Hammer is Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

10)  A Remote Control is Female.  Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you?  But consider this – it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!