John had been a resident of Texas all of his life and was proud of being from the largest state in the United States. Then Alaska was admitted and Texas was no longer the largest state. To make matters worse someone told John that if Alaska was divided in half Texas would be the third largest state. That did it – John could not stand it any longer he had to be a resident of the largest state. He hopped in his Lear Jet and off to Anchorage Alaska. Once in Anchorage John headed for the first bar. He asked the bartender how one became an Alaska resident. The bartender replied that one must do three things; Chug a quart of whiskey, kill a grizzly bear and make love to an Eskimo woman.

John asked the bartender for the quart of Jim Beam, chugged it down and out the door he went. Ten days later John returned to the bar. His clothes were torn an he was scarred up. He approached the bartender and asked; “Now where is that Eskimo woman I have to kill?”