A Sign In A Shoe Repair Store:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you.

Sign Over A Gynecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, You’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck:
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:
No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In A Veterinarian’s Waiting Room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”.

At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”.

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”.

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”.

At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”.

In a Radiator Shop:
“Best place in town to take a leak.”.

And the best one for last….

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”