Day Brightener – The World’s Most Interesting Man

  • He gave his father “the talk”
  • His passport requires no photograph
  • When he drives a car off the lot, its price increases in value
  • Once a rattlesnake bit him, after 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died
  • His Cinco de Mayo party starts on the 8th of March
  • His feet don’t get blisters, but his shoes do
  • He once went to the psychic, to warn her
  • If he were to punch you in the face you would have to fight off a strong urge to thank him
  • Whatever side of the tracks he’s currently on is the right side, even if he crosses the tracks he’ll still be on the right side
  • He can speak Russian… in French
  • He never says something tastes like chicken.. not even chicken
  • Superman has pajamas with his logo
  • His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
  • The circus ran away to join him
  • Bear hugs are what he gives bears
  • He once brought a knife to a gunfight… just to even the odds
  • When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring
  • His friends call him by his name, his enemies don’t call him anything because they are all dead
  • He has never waited 15 minutes after finishing a meal before returning to the pool
  • If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn’t be dark
  • He once won a staring contest with his own reflection
  • He can kill two stones with one bird
  • His signature won a Pulitzer
  • When a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, he hears it
  • He once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
  • The dark is afraid of him
  • Sharks have a week dedicated to him
  • His ten gallon hat holds twenty gallons
  • No less than 25 Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard
  • He once made a weeping willow laugh
  • He lives vicariously through himself
  • His business card simply says ‘I’ll Call You”
  • He once taught a German shepherd how to bark in Spanish
  • He bowls overhand
  • In museums, he is allowed to touch the art
  • He is allowed to talk about the fight club
  • He once won a fist fight, only using his beard
  • He once won the Tour-de-France, but was disqualified for riding a unicycle

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