I mowed the lawn today. Then I sat down, took a break and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful and the suds inspired me to some deep thinking.

My wife came outside for a moment and asked what I was doing. “Nothing,” I answered.

She then said, “That’s what you did yesterday” to which I replied, “I wasn’t done.”

The reason I said “nothing” instead of saying “just thinking” is because she then would have asked, “About what?”

At that point, I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics. Had I said that, it would have led to other questions.

Alone again, I pondered an age-old question:

Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts. But how would they know?

Well, after another ice-cold beer and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the final answer to that question.

I am now certain that getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby.

This is the reason I reached that conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a young woman will often say: “It might be nice to have another child.”

On the other hand, I bet you never heard a guy say: “You know, I think I would like to get kicked in the nuts.”

Time for another beer and then maybe a nap.