Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Republicans & Democrats are like divorced parents who care more about getting the kids to hate the other one than they are their well-being.

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.

I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

Don’t steal. That’s the government’s job.

Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn’t been mugged yet.

If you are not part of the solution, you’re probably running for President.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?