Dorothy Parker was an American poet, literary critic and writer of fiction, plays and screenplays based in New York; she was known for her caustic wisecracks, and eye for 20th-century urban foibles. Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary works published in magazines, such as The New Yorker, and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table.

There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words. 

Interview with “The Paris Review,” 1956

 

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. 

“The New Yorker,” 1929

 

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart. 

“The New Yorker,” 1928

 

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. 

Quoted in “Dorothy Parker: In Her Own Words,” 2004

 

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think. 

Parker’s response when asked to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence during a game

 

Four be the things I’d been better without: / Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. 

“Inventory,” 1937

 

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. 

Widely attributed to Parker, though the origin is unknown

 

They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm. 

“New York World,” 1928

 

Scratch a lover, and find a foe. 

“Ballade of a Great Weariness,” 1937

 

Excuse my dust. 

Another suggested epitaph for herself, “Vanity Fair,” 1925