A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight will surprise you! While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic! 

1.	Don’t change horses	until they stop running.
2.	Strike while the	bug is close.
3.	It’s always darkest before	Daylight Saving Time.
4.	Never underestimate the power of	termites.
5.	You can lead a horse to water but	how?
6.	Don’t bite the hand that	looks dirty.
7.	No news is	impossible.
8.	A miss is as good as a	Mr.
9.	You can’t teach an old dog new	math.
10.	If you lie down with dogs, you’ll	stink in the morning.
11.	Love all, trust	me.
12.	The pen is mightier than the	pigs.
13.	An idle mind is	the best way to relax.
14.	Where there’s smoke there’s	pollution.
15.	Happy the bride who	gets all the presents.
16.	A penny saved is	not much.
17	Two’s company, three’s	the Musketeers.
18.	Don’t put off till tomorrow what	you put on to go to bed.
19.	Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and	you have to blow your nose.
20.	There are none so blind as	Stevie Wonder.
21.	Children should be seen and not	spanked or grounded.
22.	If at first you don’t succeed	get new batteries.
23.	You get out of something only what you	see in the picture on the box.
24.	When the blind lead the blind	get out of the way.
25.	A bird in the hand	is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26.	Better late than	pregnant.

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her sliced shot headed directly toward foursome of men playing the adjacent fairway.

The ball squarely hit one of the men. Crouching, he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. “Oh, I’m so sorry. Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I’m sure I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.

‘Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the man replied.

He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “Now how does that feel”?

Feels great, he replied, but I still think my thumb’s broken!

There was a middle-aged guy who bought a Mercedes convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it up to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head.

“This is great,” he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a State Patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blasting. “I can get away from him with no problem” thought the man and he floored it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph.

Then he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this kind of thing,” and pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the State Patrol to catch up with him.

The State Patrol officer pulled in behind the Mercedes and the officer walked up to the man. “Sir,” he said, looking at his watch. “My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.” The man looked back at the State Patrol and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Patrol officer, and I thought you were bringing her back!”

The State Patrol said, “Have a nice day!”