Author: lorenberg

Day Brightener – They Walk Among Us!

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They Walk Among Us!

I was at the checkout at Walmart, minding my own business, when the cashier rang up my total: $46.64. I handed her a crisp $50 bill. She looked me dead in the eye, gave me back $46.64, and continued scanning items like a professional.

Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”

Her: huffing dramatically “Sir, I am educated. I know what I’m doing.”

She pushed the money back at me like I was trying to scam her.

So, I did what any reasonable person would do—I gave it back.

She, once again, pushed it right back at me with extra attitude.

🤷‍♂️

I shrugged, picked up my bags, and walked out with $46.64 in my pocket.

They Walk Among Us…

I walked into Starbucks with a “Buy-One-Get-One-Free” coupon for a Grande Latte. The barista studied it like it was the Declaration of Independence, then turned to a chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh! So that means… they’re both free!”

She happily handed me two free lattes.

☕
☕

I didn’t argue. I just walked out, sipping my victory.

They Walk Among Us…

One day, I was strolling along the beach with some friends when one of them gasped dramatically, pointed ahead, and yelled:

“Look! A dead bird!”

Another friend immediately looked up at the sky and asked, “Where?”

🫠

I just… I had no words.

They Walk Among Us…

My brother was house hunting and asked the real estate agent which direction was north. He explained that he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

The agent furrowed her brow. “Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”

My brother, thinking she was joking, laughed.

She was not joking.

He gently explained that the sun rises in the east… and, you know, has been doing that for quite a while now.

She shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff.”

I… I had to walk away.

They Walk Among Us…

Back when I worked in a 24/7 call center, a guy called and asked:

“What hours are you open?”

Me: “Sir, we’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”

Him: “Okay, but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

I stared at my screen for a solid 10 seconds before replying:

“Uh… Pacific.”

He thanked me and hung up, probably feeling proud of himself.

They Walk Among Us…

My sister has one of those emergency seatbelt cutters in her car—designed to save her life if she ever gets trapped.

She keeps it in the trunk.

🤦‍♂️

They Walk Among Us…

My friends and I went to buy beer for a party. The store had a 10% discount on cases. Since we were professionals, we grabbed two cases.

The cashier did some quick mental math.

“Oh, two cases? That’s 10% + 10%… so you get 20% off!”

We all nodded and quietly accepted our new financial advisor.

They Walk Among Us…

At the airport, I couldn’t find my luggage, so I went to the lost baggage counter.

Me: “My bags never showed up.”

The lady smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, sir! I’m a trained professional. Now… has your plane landed yet?”

I blinked.

Me: “Nope, we’re still circling the airport. The pilot told us we’re third in line to land.”

Her: “Oh! Okay, well, come back after you land.”

…Sure thing, genius.

They Walk Among Us…

While working at a pizza place, I watched a man order a small pizza to-go.

Cook: “Would you like that cut into four or six slices?”

The man thought long and hard before replying:

“Better make it four. I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six.”

🤣
😂
🤣

Bless their hearts.

They Walk Among Us…

Day Brightener – A Trip To Lowes

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I was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. I asked my wife Mary if she would go to Lowe’s and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go.

 

While she was waiting for the manager, Charlie, to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet. 

 

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, “How much is that faucet?” 

 

Charlie replied, “That’s a gold-plated faucet and the price is $500.00.”

 

Mary exclaimed, “My goodness, that’s an expensive faucet – certainly out of my price range.”

 

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that I had sent her to buy. Charlie said that he had them in stock and it was $3.49.

 

He then went into the storeroom to get one. From the storeroom he yelled, “Ma’am, you wanna’ screw for the hinge?”

 

Mary shouted back, “No, but I will for the faucet.”

 

This is why you can’t send a woman to Lowe’s.

Day Brightener – God’s Email

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One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally retirees’ behavior that was going on.. 

So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time.

When the angel returned, he told God, ‘Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% of retirees are misbehaving and only 5% are not. 

God thought for a moment and said, ‘Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.’ 


So God called another angel and sent her to earth for a time. 


When the angel returned,  she went to God and said, ‘Yes, it’s true. The earth is in decline;  95% of retirees are misbehaving, but 5% are being good…’

God was not pleased….!

So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help them keep going. 

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one either.

Day Brightener – Nostalgia

lorenberg Uncategorized 1 Comment
Washington Avenue in Minneapolis in the 1930s


Snow in Tempe USA
Mill Avenue (1930s) In the 1930s, Mill Avenue in Tempe was already an important commercial and social hub, though the town itself was much smaller than it is today. Tempe, known primarily for its proximity to Arizona State University (ASU), had a population of just a few thousand people during this era. Mill Avenue, running through the heart of downtown, was lined with small businesses, shops, and cafes that catered to both local residents and students. The street was a central gathering place, reflecting the tight-knit community atmosphere of the time. Tempe’s economy was still largely based on agriculture, but the presence of ASU, which had opened in 1885, began shaping the town’s character and its development in the years that followed.
In the 1930s, snow in Tempe was a rare occurrence. Arizona’s desert climate made snowstorms in the region infrequent, but on occasion, a cold front would bring snow flurries to the area. These moments were memorable for the residents, adding to the charm and unique character of the community. By the late 1930s, Mill Avenue and Tempe would see more urban development, especially as World War II brought increased attention and growth to the area, but the small-town atmosphere of Mill Avenue during the 1930s remained a hallmark of the era.
Ogilvie, Minnesota in the 1940s
This is what Bohemian Flat looked like in Minneapolis, back in 1897.

In 1938, the cost of a car in Ohio could be as low as $29, which seems almost unbelievable by today’s standards. This was during the Great Depression, a time when the economy was still struggling to recover from the stock market crash of 1929. Automakers, eager to boost sales and stimulate the economy, offered rock-bottom prices for vehicles to make them more accessible to the average consumer. Cars, which were typically a significant investment, became more affordable to many Americans, though the vehicles themselves were often basic models with fewer features than those available today.
The $29 price tag was often associated with used cars, many of which had been traded in by their original owners who could no longer afford to keep them. In an era when new cars were still relatively expensive, these affordable second-hand vehicles provided transportation for families and workers who had limited financial resources. While $29 may sound incredibly low, it’s important to remember that the average yearly wage during the 1930s was around $1,700, so the affordability of a car was relative to what people were earning at the time.
Despite the low price, cars in 1938 were still seen as a significant symbol of independence and mobility. For many people in Ohio and across the United States, the ability to own a car marked a new level of freedom, enabling them to travel further for work, leisure, or social engagements. This period of affordability helped set the stage for the post-World War II boom in car ownership, when automobiles became an integral part of American life and culture.
Minnesota State Fair at Fort Snelling in 1860
Hennepin Avenue in Minneapolis in 1908
1960s in Minnesota
Up the incline railway from Superior Street, Duluth, Minnesota, 1907
Phoenix Arizona in 1966.

On September 3, 1957, New York’s West Side, known as Luxury Liner Row, hosted a grand assembly of iconic Atlantic liners. The photograph captures six of these classic ships, which arrived early that morning, marking the end of the summer vacation season the day after Labor Day. From top to bottom, the vessels included American Export Lines’ INDEPENDENCE at Pier 84, United States Lines’ flagship UNITED STATES at Pier 86, Greek Line’s OLYMPIA and French Line’s FLANDRE at Pier 88, and Cunard Line’s MAURETANIA and QUEEN MARY at Pier 90. At Pier 92 was Cunard’s BRITANNIC, which had arrived on August 31. This gathering of liners, 67 years ago, collectively brought around 9,400 passengers to New York in the luxury of the era. In contrast, today, Royal Caribbean’s ICON OF THE SEAS alone can carry 7,600 passengers, nearly matching the capacity of all six classic liners combined.
Nicollet Avenue in Minneapolis on Armistice Day in 1918
Dinkytown in Minneapolis in the 1950s
Main Street – Deadwood, Dakota.
Hennepin Avenue at 6th Street in Minneapolis in 1949
Bohemian Flats (1880)
Photo from the Minnesota Historical Society

A Woolworth’s Menu from the 1960s.
Dinkytown in Minneapolis in the 1950s
Lincoln Del West in Minneapolis in the 1970s. Loved this place, the construction of I 394 put it out of business.