Day Brightener – A Few More Laughs – Some Are A Little Sick But Still Funny
Day Brightener – Grins (Puns) For The Day
– How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Velcro – what a rip off!
• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.
Day Brightener – 13 Motivating Quotes To Help You Accomplish Your Goals
It doesn’t matter when you start, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing. All that matters is that you truly follow your own path, your own way, at your own pace. Be kind to yourself and others, and follow your intuition always. That is real bravery.
Diana Schneider
Maybe you have a little voice inside that says you aren’t strong enough to handle what life’s left at your feet. That voice lies. Prove it wrong today — then repeat, repeat, repeat. Keep moving.
Maggie Smith
If there is no struggle, there is no progress.
Sometimes the future changes quickly and completely, and we’re left with only the choice of what to do next. We can choose to be afraid of it. Just stand there trembling, not moving, assuming the worst that can happen. Or we step forward into the unknown, and assume it will be brilliant.
Dr. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh) in “Grey’s Anatomy”
Just remember, you can do anything you set your mind to, but it takes action, perseverance, and facing your fears.
Gillian Anderson
All success in life starts within you. You know what to do. You know how to do it. Your next step is simple. You are the first domino.
Gary W. Keller
I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.
Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.
Jeffrey Gitomer
Many strokes, though with a little axe, / Hew down and fell the hardest-timber’d oak.
Motivation is a battle for the heart, not just an appeal to the mind. Passion is always an expression of the soul.
Patrick Dixon
Sometimes we just have to leap and then grow our wings in midair. And if we indeed collapse onto the ground before us, a fall is still forward motion.
Robin Roberts
When you get into a tight place, and everything goes against you till it seems as if you couldn’t hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that’s just the place and time that the tide’ll turn.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming.
Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) in “Finding Nemo”
Day Brightener – 8 Quotes That Changed History
I know I have the body but of a weak, feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm.
Queen Elizabeth I
I hold the sun to be situated motionless in the center of the revolution of the celestial orbs while the earth rotates on its axis and revolves about the sun.
Galileo Galilei
That from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Abraham Lincoln
I come to ask you to help to win this fight. If we win it, this hardest of all fights, then, to be sure, in the future it is going to be made easier for women all over the world to win their fight when their time comes.
Emmeline Pankhurst
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.
I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons will live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to see realized. But, my lord, if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.
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