This proof actually happened yesterday, Friday September 13, 2013, at the St. Cloud Country Club in St. Cloud Minnesota. Three of us had ventured to St. Cloud as our course, Alexandria Golf Club, was busy hosting the Minnesota Golf Association Mid Am.

The Fifteenth hole is a short-ish par 5 with a hazard, a deep cut with a 90-degree bank, all along the left side and a creek in front of the green. My tee shot was a smother hook left into the hazard. Didn’t even attempt to find the ball – not even a ProV1 is worth a broken leg. Take my drop and promptly chunk a 9 iron about 30 yards. I was trying to get it up quickly over a tree. Now laying 3! Finally hit a decent shot – a 6 iron to the middle of the fairway 94 yards to the pin. Once the green clears hit a Gap Wedge exactly 94 yards into the hole for a Ho-Hum par.

I guess this is why we play them out. You never know when lightning might strike. Here I was hoping against hope that I could scratch a bogey and being rewarded with a par. The Golf Gods do have a sense of humor. One could also wonder if Friday the 13th played any part. By the way, my birthday is the 13th – not September – but?

Just in case you have always wondered about what makes a Texan tick. . . . .

When God created the world for humankind to prosper and multiply, he decided 
to give each group two virtues. As an example, he made Japanese people
patient and hardworking, he made Germans tenacious and studious, HE made 
Americans organized and pragmatic, And so on.

When GOD considered Texans, He told the record-keeping angel, “Texans are 
going to be intelligent, honest and democrats.

When GOD finished creating the world, the angel noticed that GOD had given 
every group two virtues excepting Texans, who had received three.
The angel thought that this would give the Texans an unfair advantage over 
the other groups of human beings. He pointed this out to GOD. 

GOD said, “Oh, my goodness, you are certainly right, but since virtues given 
by GOD cannot be changed, we shall do the following: From now on Texans will
 keep three virtues, however, they can only use two at a Time.”

This dictum explains why:

* A Texan, who is a democrat and honest, cannot be intelligent.

* One, who is intelligent and democrat, cannot be honest.

* AND ONE, WHO IS INTELLIGENT AND HONEST, CAN NEVER BE A DEMOCRAT!

* This is why most Texans are REPUBLICANS!!!

Those of you that have followed my blog are probably aware that Lee Child is one of my favorite authors. That in no small part is due to Child’s central character, Jack Reacher. Reacher is a retired U S Army Major whose service was as a Military Policeman.  Reacher travels the country with only a folding tooth brush. No luggage no nothing. When he needs clean clothes, he buys new ones and throws the old ones away. Reacher has no car and either rides buses, hitchhikes. walks or occasionally flies his way around the country. While the basic premise may seem a little far fetched there are probably some who live that way. What differentiates those others from Reacher is that he typically happens upon a troubling situation that he feels compelled to fix.

As an aside, there was recently a movie around Child’s central character, Jack Reacher. The casting choice for Reacher was either bizarre or borderline unbelievable. Bear in mind, Reacher is described in the books as six foot six and two hundred fifty pounds and the actor chosen to portray Reacher was Tom Cruise – someone about a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter! As you might imagine, I have not see the movie and intend to keep that record intact.

In the latest book, Never Go Back, which by the way is certainly one of Child’s best if not his best effort to date, Reacher comes to Washington DC to look up a woman with an intriguing voice he has never met. His only encounter was in a previous book, 61 Hours, where he only talked with her on the telephone. He arrives and finds that she has been arrested on what appear to be trumped up charges and then finds himself ordered back in the Army and in jail on other questionable charges. It turns out that Reacher and the woman, she because of her job in the Army and he because he was there to see her, become wrapped up in conspiracy that involves those in very high places. What follows is a completely enjoyable read as the characters unwind a very convoluted plot which cumulates in a totally unforeseen ending. As always  the character development and story lines are compelling. Highly recommended!

FAMOUS INVENTIONS – The toilet seat was invented in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakotan invented the hole in it.

OUTHOUSE PROBLEMS – When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. He explained, ‘I’m not going down in dere yust for 50 cents.’

THAT’S HER! – A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, ‘Yep, dat’s her!’

VE COULDN’T AFFORD MORE – Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish. “The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400″ said the first Norwegian. ” Vell ,” said the other one , ” At dat price it’s a good ting ve didn’t catch any more.”

THE RELATIONS – Ole and Lena were getting on in years. Ole was 92 and Lena was 89.  One evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers and Ole reached over and patted Lena on her knee. ” Lena , vat ever happened tew our sex relations? ” h e asked. ” Vell, Ole, I yust don’t know, ” replied Lena .” I don’t tink ve even got a card from dem last Christmas.”

MUSIC SOLUTION – Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it.” ‘Oh,” said Ole, ” I persvaded her to svitch to a clarinet. ” ” How come? ” asked Lars.” Vell,” Ole answered, ” because vith a clarinet, she can’t sing.”

THE PRANK CALL – The phone rings in the middle of the night when Ole and Lena are in bed and Ole answers . ” Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here ” he saysand hangs up. ” Who vas dat? ” asks Lena . ” I donno, some fool wanting to know if da coast vas clear.

HONEYMOON TRIP – On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee. Giggling, Lena said, ” ‘Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to. ” So Ole drove to Duluth.

GO TO TOWN – Ole was arrested one night while walking bare naked down the streets of the little town of Alexandria , Minnesota .  The policeman, who was a good friend of Ole’s said, “Ole…What in the world are you doing? Where are your clothes?  You’re naked. ” “Yah, I know, ” said Ole . ” You see, I vas over to dat playboy Swen’s for his birthday party. Dere vas about ten of us.  Der vas boys and girls.”  ” Is that right? “, his policeman friend asked. ” Yah, Yah, anyvay, dat Swen, he says, ‘Everybody get into the bedroom!’  So vee all go into the bedroom….where den he yells, ‘Everybody git naked!’ ‘Vel, vee all got undressed.  Den he yells, ‘Everybody go to town!’ And, well, I guess I’m the first one here. “