Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done, you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is that true? 

Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 

“And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt…”

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?

A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: “Gosh, I remember these!”

SMILE, You’ve still got your sense of humor!