Glass takes one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years.

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.

The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

The University of Alaska spans four time zones.

The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.

Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet’s tail always points away from the sun.

The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.

Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.

In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed

Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.

The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year

The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

Due to earth’s gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.

Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy.

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.

Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.

For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.

The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

My personal favorite!!

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would ‘hate’ to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

Early last week I penned a letter that was published in the Minneapolis Star Tribune.  Then last Friday, someone responded to my letter. Both postings are below.

My mail experience shows less-frequent delivery is fine LOREN BERG, Rio Verde, Ariz. While I agree with a Dec. 30 letter writer that the U.S. Postal Service needs changes and agree that the 75-year funding of retirees’ health benefits is more than a little bizarre, much more basic changes need to be addressed. For one, I think that six-day-a-week residential mail delivery borders on the obscene. With more of us receiving increasing amounts of our critical communication in some electronic format, let’s face it: The volume of regular mail has dropped substantially, and there is nothing in the wind that indicates that this trend will not continue.

A change to twice-a-week residential mail delivery would work no hardship on us as recipients but would have a major impact on the cost of our mail delivery. As an example, five months each year when we are in Minnesota we get our mail once a week — a service we pay additional amounts for. Our mail is accumulated in Arizona and each Wednesday is sent to our address in Minnesota, generally arriving on Friday or Saturday. No catastrophe occurs because it is not delivered every day.

MAIL DELIVERY Here’s what’s at core of possible service cuts. So the writer of the Jan. 2 Letter of the Day (“My mail experience shows less-frequent delivery is fine”) thinks that “six-day-a-week residential mail delivery borders on the obscene.” I’ll tell you what I think is obscene: the relentless Republican assault on middle-class, blue-collar, unionized postal employees whose wages and benefits set the benchmark for the rest of us working fools. That’s what it’s all about.

Here’s my idea: Every veteran returning after service to his country should be guaranteed a job with the Post Office. I don’t care if mail delivery is seven days a week and twice on Sundays. TIM WIRTH, Lakeland

While I fully support any program that assists our returning veterans in finding employment I do not think the answer is to pack them into an already bloated Post Office. First, what benefit is there to either the returning veteran or the American public to create jobs for work that does not need to done – come on – twice on Sunday! Think about it; what job satisfaction and feeling of worth would be created by putting people – veterans or others – in jobs created only to employee more people and not to generate anything meaningful or worthwhile? A better idea might be to “Right Size” the Post Office, and yes reducing the frequency of residential delivery might be one of those options, and in doing that provide even better paying jobs rather than spreading a pie that is shrinking over even more people. To Mr. Wirth’s point that Post Office wages and benefits tend to set the bar for other employment, would this not work to the benefit of others, not only Post Office employees.

Is reducing the frequency of residential mail delivery the only option? Of course not, but it is certainly one that probably should be considered. And yes, the aforementioned funding of 75 years of retirees’ health benefits is another. The whole point is that we need to look at all of the options to increase the efficiency of the Post Office operation to stem the ongoing losses and better serve the Post Office’s customers – the American public.

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? 
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. 
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

• When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
• When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
• When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
• When you are scared ~ I will rag on you about it every chance I get until you’re NOT.
• When you are worried~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
• When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
• When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
• When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I’ll help you up.

This is my oath ….. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask ~ because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Send this to 10 of your closest friends (including the one who sent it to you). Then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Gentleman Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a… while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, Given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2 The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’

His funeral is this weekend. Know anyone looking for an old Seeing Eye dog?

If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize

She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold… and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. !! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down’. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.’

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

If you laughed at this pass it on. Remember, if you haven’t got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, then you are just a sour old fart!

The Night Nurse

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 16-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller, and without missing a beat, she says: ‘Well, that’s great…that’s just great………some asshole’s got my pen!

My tax return?

I just received my tax return for 2012 back from the IRS. It puzzles me!!! They are questioning how many dependents I claimed. I guess it was because of my response to the question: “List all dependents?” I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 47 million unemployed people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; half of Mexico ; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate.” Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO THE HELL DID I MISS?

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, 
Raised a glass of water and asked; 
’How heavy is this glass of water?’

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, ‘the absolute weight doesn’t matter. 
It depends on how long you try to hold it. 
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. 
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. 
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. 
In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’

He continued, 
’and that’s the way it is with stress management. 
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, 
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy, 
We won’t be able to carry on.

‘As with the glass of water, 
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. 
When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. 
’So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work or whatever is bothering you down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, 
Let them down for a moment if you can. 
’so, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. 
Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.’

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

• Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
• Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
• Always wear stuff that will make you look good 
if you die in the middle of it..
• Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be 
”Recalled” by their maker.
• If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
• If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, 
it was probably worth it.
• It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
• Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, 
because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
• Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. 
Just get up and dance.
• When everything’s coming your way, 
you’re in the wrong lane.
• Birthdays are good for you. 
The more you have, the longer you live.
• You may be only one person in the world, 
but you may also be the world to one person.
• Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
• We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
• A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today…

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: “Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York’s JFK. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and………OH… MY GOD!”

Silence followed.

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled……..”For the luvva Jaysus……you should see the back of mine!”