I am about to embark on a complete divorce from the Windows PC world. You may or may not recall from a previous post, but last summer I did not take a Windows PC to Minnesota instead relying totally on my Apple MacBook Air. It was a non-event; for the five months we were in Minnesota I was able to complete everything without a hitch. Now, I do run Windows under Parallels on the MacBook Air as there are two things that did not, and one that still does not, have a viable Apple alternative but more about that in a minute. Since returning to Arizona this past fall, I have been using both the Apple and PC switching more based on which one was closest than anything else.  Well my HP 18” laptop is beginning to show it’s age. The keyboard is having a few issues and Windows 8 is probably not an option. (I checked the HP website on the Windows 8 issue and found that they have not tested this model.) Given what I have heard and read a goodly percentage of PC’s from the two or more years ago have witnessed problems with Windows 8.

So a replacement is due and I will be replacing the HP with an Apple 21.5” iMac.  Yep, not a notebook.  I might have been tempted to go with another Apple notebook except Apple has discontinued the 17” model and for some work I wanted something larger than a 15” display. The iMac is quite a machine; in addition to 8 gigs of memory there is also 512 mb dedicated video memory. The standard hard drive is 1 terabyte but I opted for the optional fusion drive which marries a 128 GB Solid State Drive (SSD) with the 1 terabyte conventional hard drive. My MacBook Air has a Solid State Drive and the boot speed and other operational speeds are addicting ergo the decision.  What the fusion drive does is to store not only the boot sequences on the SSD but as you use the system it moves those applications and data you use most to the SSD speeding these operations as well. As with cars speed in computers is addicting!

Now to the two things where an Apple alternative is or was not available. One, Quicken for the Mac seems to have matured to the point that I will make that move.  However, the second is an Outlook add-in called Send Individually and for the life of me I cannot find anything for the Mac that comes close. I have written about this add-in previously but what it does is allow me to send email to larger groups than my ISP will allow.  Typically, an ISP, and the number varies, will at some point block a large number of email addresses on one email.  I am not sure where the ISP I use draws that line but I have a few groups that are over the limit. Send Individually solves this issue by instead of sending all of the emails at one time it sends them one at a time and works like a charm. Will I be running Windows on the iMac, while the jury is still out on that one the leader in the clubhouse is no. I have the MacBook Air and it handles that one operation without a glitch making the decision to purchase additional copies of Windows and Parallels difficult.

One issue in this change that I thought was going to be a problem turned out to be easy.  I have a lot of data on the HP and did not want to move all of it to the MacBook Air’s 256 GB SSD drive. First, it turns out that my 1 terabyte Western Digital backup drive that I was using on the PC is readable with the Mac so no issue there.  Also, I setup a DropBox account and now have files available regardless which device I am using, including my iPad and iPhone.

So I guess a reasonable question is why the iMac rather than another PC. Part of it is probably laziness – I am not crazy about another learning curve to move to Windows 8 as I am totally comfortable with the Mac operating system. Second, having all of my devices on the Apple system has more than a little appeal. My son, only half-jokingly, said that the PC world would probably shake given that I have been a PC person since the first IBM PC but I assured him that everything will be alright. Apple does not currently stock the 21.5” iMac with the fusion drive in the stores so mine will be here in a couple of weeks and as things go on I will keep you updated.

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”

“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.

“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it.””All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.   Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really.”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.

Just in case  ya didn’t know…              yaa, yo-bet-sha…It’s true
Minnesota  became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost  tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin ‘s  winters.
Minnesota gets  it’s name from the Sioux Indian word “mah-nee-soo-tah,” meaning, “No,  really…  They eat fish soaked in lye.”

The state song  of Minnesota is “Someday the Vikings will…  Aw, never  mind.”
The Mall of  America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has  enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers yapping away on cell  phones.
Madison, Minnesota is known as “the lutefisk capital of the world.” Avoid this city  at all costs.

“The Mary  Tyler Moore Show”  was set in Minneapolis , Minnesota , and was  Mary’s first real acting job since leaving the “Dick van Dyke Show.   The show about a single woman’s struggle to find happiness in the big city  was originally titled “Life Without Dick,” but that was changed for some  reason.

Downtown  Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering 52 blocks, allowing  people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going outside.  The  only downside to this is that a Norwegian occasionally turns up  missing.

Cartoonist  Charles M. Shultz was born in Minneapolis , Minnesota and grew up in  St.  Paul.  He was the only artist to accurately depict the  perfectly circular heads of Minnesota natives.

The Hormel  Company of Austin , Minnesota produces 6 million cans of Spam a year, even  though no one actually eats it.  Spam is a prized food in Japan &  Hawaii–Spam sushi!!

Minnesota  license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase “Blizzards on  the 4th of July – you get used to it.”

Frank C. Mars,  founder of the Mars Candy Co. was born in Newport, Minnesota . His 3  Musketeers candy bar originally contained three bars in one wrapper, each  filled with a different flavor of nougat -chocolate, Spam and  lutefisk.

Tonka trucks  continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka, Minnesota, despite the  thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in rollover  accidents.  No airbags, no seat belts.  These things are  deathtraps, I tell ya!

Author Laura  Ingalls Wilder was raised at Walnut Grove, Minnesota, and was famous for  writing the “Little House” series of books, as well as inventing the “Spam  diet” which consists of looking at a plate of Spam until you lose your  appetite.  Much like the “lutefisk diet”.

The snowmobile  was invented in Roseau , Minnesota so as to allow families a means of  attending 4th of July picnics

Minnesotans  are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites.  The only way to  tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in  ’84.

 Now…   it’s up to you to forward this to all your friends If one of them does not  forward it to others, he/she will be given an entrance pin to attend the  Eelpout Festival in Walker, MN….in  February —

Cold is a  relative thing ya know….

At 65 degrees,  Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.
At 60,  Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe.
At  50, Italian & English cars won’t start. People in Minnesota drive with  the windows down..
At 40, Georgians don coats, thermal  underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel  shirt.
At 35, New  York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last  cookout before it gets cold.
At 20,  People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close their windows.
At 0,  Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Minnesota get out their winter  coats.
At 10  below zero, Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are  selling cookies door to door.
At 20  below, Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? —Nah.). People in  Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.
At 30  below, Santa Claus abandons the North  Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.
At 40 below, ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start  saying…”Cold enough for ya, eh?”
At 50  below, hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late

The Polish Golf Club Championship

Milo and Stosh are standing on the 18th tee at their Polish Country Club.
They are the final twosome in the Polish Country Club Championship
and are tied for the lead. The 18th hole is a beautiful par four with a deep
valley descending down to a dogleg right.

Both Milo and Stosh hit long, straight tee shots which disappear down into
the valley. A short time later, the fore caddie appears at the top of the
hill and announces that both balls are within 6 inches of each other, but
there’s a problem. Both of the golf balls are Titleist # 4s.

Milo and Stosh look at each other and realize that they had not informed
each other as to what kind of ball they were playing, nor its number.
They quickly descend into the valley and, sure enough, their two Titleist
golf balls are right next to each at the bottom of the valley in the middle
of the fairway.

Stosh looks at Milo and says, “We had better get a ruling from a tournament
official to straighten this out.” “This is the Polish Country Club
Championships and
we don’t want to be disqualified for making a mistake and hitting the wrong
ball.” “After all, we are tied for the lead.”

Soon after, a rules official appears and examines the two # 4 Titleist golf
balls. He then looks up at Milo and Stosh and says,

“Which one of you is playing the orange ball?

The Dreaded Phone Call….

My boss phoned me today.  He asked,  “Is everything OK at the office?”;

I said “It’s all under control.  It’s been very busy,  I haven’t stopped to take a break all day.”;

“Can you do me a favor” he asked.

I said “Of course, What is it?”;

“Pick up the pace a little.  I’m in the foursome behind you.”

I have never been satisfied with the email apps for the iPhone and iPad – that was until the newly updated Gmail app. With multiple account, up to 5, support, the ability to select multiple emails for the same action, access to your emails stored in categories and a clean interface there is a lot to like. The app also features time savers, and accuracy improvements, with auto complete for contact names, the ability to respond to Google calendar invites and you can send and receive attachments. And by the way, it’s free!

Just yesterday our golf club in Minnesota sent a communication to the membership and those using the native Apple email apps were unable to see an important part of the message – the link to the document. Those using PC’s and those of us with the Gmail email app on our Apple devices had no issues.  I have no idea what caused the problem but enough to know that there is a solution. Given that the app is free I recommend that you give it a try.

The Resurrection

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

Those of you that have watched the Bones TV series will recognize Kathy Reichs as a producer of the popular show.  Temperance Brennan is the key character in both the books and the TV series and in essence Reichs is Brennan or Brennan is Reichs. However Brennan in the books is a much different character from the one in the TV series. For instance there is no Agent Booth in the books but there are a few romantic interests and an ex-husband. Rather than being an agnostic like Brennan in the TV series Brennan in the books was raised Catholic.For perspective, here is a short bio on Kathy Reichs from her website.

Dr. Reichs is one of only eighty-two forensic anthropologists ever certified by the American Board of Forensic Anthropology. She served on the Board of Directors and as Vice President of both the American Academy of Forensic Sciences and the American Board of Forensic Anthropology, and is currently a member of the National Police Services Advisory Council in Canada. She is a Professor in the Department of Anthropology at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte.

This background, and the following, lead to compelling and authentic writing on the subject.  Again from the author’s website.

From teaching FBI agents how to detect and recover human remains, to separating and identifying commingled body parts in her Montreal lab, as a forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs has brought her own dramatic work experience to her mesmerizing forensic thrillers. For years she consulted to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner in North Carolina, and continues to do so for the Laboratoire de Sciences Judiciaires et de Médecine Légale for the province of Québec. Dr. Reichs has traveled to Rwanda to testify at the UN Tribunal on Genocide, and helped exhume a mass grave in Guatemala. As part of her work at JPAC (Formerly CILHI) she aided in the identification of war dead from World War II, Korea, and Southeast Asia. Dr. Reichs also assisted with identifying remains found at ground zero of the World Trade Center following the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

Now to the books. To date I have read five books in the series and am working on number six. For the record I have completed; Spider Bones, Bones Are Forever, Bones to Ashes, Devil Bones and Flash and Bones and am working on Cross Bones, While there is some carry forward in the series reading the books in the order written is not critical. Temperance Brennan in the novels bounces back and forth between North Carolina and Quebec much like the real life Reichs. In one of the series Temperance is in Hawaii working on the identification of recovered bones and resolves an apparent impossibility – someone listed as killed in action turns up floating and newly deceased in Canada many years later. One of the things I really like about these novels is that the main characters are portrayed as imperfect with all of the flaws and foibles that the rest of the human race struggles with.

Obviously given that I am on book number six I like this author’s work and highly recommend that you give it a try. The authenticity that comes from the author being highly skilled in the endeavors of the main character is a real plus.

He was from da Minnesota… And he needed a loan.

So… He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.

The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from ND for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from The University of Minnesota, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of oil wells around Williston, ND. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The good ‘ole boy replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?”

His name was Ole… .

Keep an eye on these Minnesota boys!

Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.

Lesson 1 :

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg…  The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’  The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story: 
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 2 :
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’  ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk.. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Poof! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.’ Poof! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story: 
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 3
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.  A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’  So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: 
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 4
A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. It’s full of nutrients.’ The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: 
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there…

Lesson 5 
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! 

THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE.
Send this to five bright people who have enough sense of humor to take it!

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. 

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow. 

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska 

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this . . .) 

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%.

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400

The average number of people airborne over the US in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. 

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments. 

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: 

Spades – King David

Hearts – Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds – Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, John Hancock and Charles Thomson.Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats.What is the most popular boat name requested?  A. Obsession.

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter ‘A’? A. One thousand.

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women. 

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil? A. Honey. 

Q. Which day are there more collect call than any other day of the year?  A. Father’s Day.

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase . . . ‘Goodnight, sleep tight’.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ It’s where we get the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s’.

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. ‘Wet your whistle’ is the phrase inspired by this practice. 

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!