Day Brightener – Those Of Us Born Between 1925 And 1955 Are Living Proof!
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No matter what our kids And the new generation think about us, WE ARE AWESOME !!! To Those of Us Born At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. TO ALL THE First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. WHY? Because we were always outside playing…that’s why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. We would spend hours building We did not Have Play Stations, WE HAD FRIENDS We fell out of trees, got cut, We would get We ate worms, We were given We rode bikes Little League had tryouts The idea of a parent bailing These generations have We had freedom, If YOU are You might want While you are Kind of makes The quote of the month by Jay Leno: |
Day Brightener Or Downer – How Two States Handle The Same Issue
State 1
* The Governor is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.
* The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
* He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
* He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
* The Governor goes to the hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
* The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
* The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.
* The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
* The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes.
* PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
State 2
* The Governor is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
* The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
* The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
While this is mythical, send me your guess as to which states would fit these two scenarios.
Friday Frivolity – For You To Reminisce And The Younger Generation To Try To Believe
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1955 – 62 Years Ago….Comments made in the year 1955! I’ll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it’s going to be impossible to buy a week’s groceries for $10.00.
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Day Brightener – It’s All About Golf Humor
During the life boat drill, a man has used his wife’s life jacket for his golf clubs.
‘Man, that is really devious of her. Making club covers of her and the kids to guilt trip you every time you golf.’
‘How sweet, he’s smiling. He must be dreaming about me.’
Day Brightener – Words Of Wisdom
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn
When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘ Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. ~ Desmond Tutu
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.~ David Letterman
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind
The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr
I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.~ Emo Philips
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself..~ Harrison Ford
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. ~ Robin Hall
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostan
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson
I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. ~ Arthur C Clarke
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. ~ Doug Hamwell
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.~ Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley
Day Brightener – Thoughts To Ponder Part 2 With An Interesting Twist!
Here’s something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age. (I’m almost seventy-six. ) A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, ‘Do you think I’ll live to be 80?’
He asked, ‘Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?
‘Oh no,’ I replied. ‘I’m not doing drugs, either!’
Then he asked, ‘Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued Ribs?
‘I said, ‘Not much… my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!’
‘Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?’
‘No, I don’t,’ I said.
He asked, ‘Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?’
‘No,’ I said…
He looked at me and said,.. ‘Then, why do you even give a shit?
Loren Berg's Blog 