The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on  from generation to  generation, says that: “When you discover that you are riding a dead  horse, best strategy is to dismount ” .  

However, in government, more advanced strategies are often  used… Such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing  riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4.  Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead  horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be  included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as  living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead  horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase  speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to  increase the dead horse’s performance.
10. Doing a productivity  study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s  performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to  be fed, it is less  costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other  horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for  all horses.

And of course….

13. Promoting the dead  horse to a supervisory position.

If you don’t understand this  theory, you haven’t lived long enough.

Question: How many days in a week? 
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday 





Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime? 
Answer: Three hours after (s)he falls asleep in the recliner. 




Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? 
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. 





Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees? 
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done. Very true




Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount. Sometime 15%





Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? 
Answer: Tied shoes. 




Question: Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time. 





Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire? 
Answer: NUTS! So true




Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage? 
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.





Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? 
Answer: Normal. 




Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? 
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break. 




Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents. 





Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

And, my very favorite…. 


QUESTION: What do you do all week? 
Answer: Monday through Friday, NOTHING….. Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

A businessman was attending a conference in Africa . He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could get on.

“Sure,” said the pro, “What’s your handicap?”

Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. “Well, it’s 16,” said the businessman, “but what’s the relevance since I’ll be playing alone?”

“It’s very important for us to know,” said the pro, who then called a caddy.

“Go out with this gentleman,” said the pro, “his handicap is 16.” The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman’s bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4. “It’s wise to avoid those trees on the left,” said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. “That’s the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa . You’re lucky I was here with you.”

After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5. “Good to avoid those bushes on the right,” says the caddy. Of course, the businessman’s ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy’s rifle once again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet. “I’ve saved your life again,” said the caddy.

The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman’s ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly. “Why didn’t you kill it?” asked the man incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the caddy. “This is the 17th handicap hole. You don’t get a shot here.”

And that is another reason why one should never lie about handicaps.

The Resurrection

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

What the hell are these “Protests” to Trump’s election all about? Typically the objective of protests is to change something – like the civil rights movement or in an attempt to change a decision by some legislative body – be it Federal, State or Local. Let’s face it, this decision by the people of the United States is unalterable for the next four years. To my mind, these look like little children throwing a temper tantrum because they cannot have another cookie or ice cream cone.

Obviously, at least some of this group could not conceive that the election would turn out without a Hillary Clinton win. They seem to  have forgotten what President Obama said, “Elections have consequences, and at the end of the day, I won.” – President Obama to House Republican Whip Eric Cantor, January 23, 2009. Earlier today, Geraldo Rivera made the point that the places where the protests, and acts of violence, are occurring are in cities where Hillary Clinton had huge majorities. I suppose it is another example of the “Why doesn’t everybody agree with me, I am much smarter” syndrome. Or that they are so isolated in these enclaves that it never occurs to them that there are as many or more with other views.

As is typical, we once again hear “We should eliminate the Electoral College and have Presidential elections decided by the popular vote”. This selection process seems to me is just another example of the wisdom of our founding fathers. Where each state gets a proportionate representation in the House of Representatives, with at least one congressperson, but each state receives two senators regardless of the population. These balance the inherent bias toward the states with the larger populations with the need to provide a “Place At The Table” for states with smaller populations.

Whether we voted for Trump or Clinton the time for hand-wringing is over. Trump will be our President for the next four years and we all owe him the support so that we can achieve the best outcome for all. Continuing to deny reality serves no real purpose and only serves to expand and preserve the divide.

Here is the link to a post by Jonathan Turley that looks at this from a different perspective. Turley, for those of you who do not know, is a law professor at George Washington University and a highly respected legal scholar. By the way, his blog just passed 30,000,000 views!

This actually happened ….. 

They dressed the truck up with the guy tied down on the roof.  The driver and passengers put on moose heads. Then they went down the toll road ………. the Interstate ………………. causing 16 accidents.

 Yes; they went to jail.   

Yes; alcohol was involved

Yes; men cannot be left alone

This post is one I redo periodically partly because of its relevance today, particularly after the just completed election, and on a personal level because Jefferson is one of my favorite presidents.  An interesting postscript is that both Jefferson and John Adams died on July 4, 1826.

I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. – John F. Kennedy – Remarks at a Dinner Honoring Nobel Prize Winners of the Western Hemisphere.

HOW DID JEFFERSON KNOW??????

When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
Thomas Jefferson

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not.
Thomas Jefferson

It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.
Thomas Jefferson

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.
Thomas Jefferson

My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government.
Thomas Jefferson

No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.
Thomas Jefferson

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.
Thomas Jefferson

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:
‘I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered..’

This is one I have posted before but thought it was appropriate after yesterday.

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII~

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office ~Aesop~

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers~

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev~

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow~

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton~

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author unknown 

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer~

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, 1952~

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~ Tex Guinan~

I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle~

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson~

There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on Congressmen. ~Will Rogers~

Well She Did What He Asked
This is a true story and may well fall into the “Truth is Stranger than Fiction” category. My wife’s aunt Sophie, who was in her 90’s at the time, was driving home in western Minnesota and approached a stop sign which she chose to ignore and made a right turn on to the crossroad. The problem was that the crossroad did not have a stop sign and there was approaching traffic. Sophie’s failure to stop forced the other vehicle, a minivan, into the ditch. Fortunately, no one was hurt however a highway patrolman was also at the intersection and observed the whole thing. As one might expect the patrolman pursued Sophie and pulled her over. The patrolmen walked up to Sophie’s car and asked for her driver’s license. Sophie dutifully produced her license, handed it to the patrolman, rolled up her window and drove off – leaving the patrolman standing in the road holding Sophie’s drivers license. To no one’s surprise, this ended Sophie’s driving career.

I do not know if the following story is true or not (probably not) but it is entertaining and kind of fits with Sophie’s story.

Story from A Minnesota State Trooper
I made a traffic stop of an elderly lady the other day for speeding on Minnesota State Highway 210 at mile marker 197, just east of McGregor MN. I asked for her Driver’s license and proof of insurance. Somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit. I looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time. She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box. Something, her body language or the way she said it, made me want to ask if she had any other firearms. She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have one more, a .38 special in her purse. I asked her what she was afraid of?  “Not a F—ing thing!”